just a thought...

               

so it is pretty obvious that i have encountered some pretty embarrassing escapades in my life. oh, and it is so not over. i have had plenty more believe you me. but i wanted to take a break from that and just share a thought i had on evolution. it is pretty deep in fact. here it is...

evolution is not the answer as to how we got here. sorry charles, although your theory may have supported evidence but answer me this...if evolution is a true theory wouldn't we still be evolving physically? and if that was true, why don't moms have a couple extra pair of arms by now? i mean, we could use them (especially me, now more than ever!) why has the human race quit evolving? don't get me wrong, i know we can evolve and become an improved species, but that is only by the power of using the tools that we have here like a scalpel, a treadmill, a tanning bed, weight watchers and of course the television show "what not to wear." But naturally, scientifically, alone, there have not been any signs of a mutation shift that has continued to evolve us into a new, refined species such as the ape is said to be the ancestor of man

now i am not even close to being a scientist (in fact, i almost failed biology in college) but i do know this. if evolution is real, i will be expecting a pair of arm nubs to start forming on a female prodigy any day now so one day mothers can finally physically do it all , and until then, sorry mr. darwin, but you got it all wrong.

                

occupied

Edit

so my husband and i are packing and getting ready for a big trip-new york! couldn't be more excited. can't wait to stick my face into a slice of new york pizza and a hoboken cupcake. oh yes and the sites too will be nice. my husband can't wait to see wallstreet...blah. show me the designer knock offs baby! of course to get to new york we have to take an airplane. which takes me back to an nightmare i'm still trying to forget. my family and i were on our way to hawaii. as soon as i entered the small overcrowded airplane i saw him. tall, dark, shaved head and a chain on his jeans. i th0ught he was dreamy. anyway couldn't stand there and stare i had to get to my seat. unfortunatly, from where i was sitting i only could see his left elbow...hot. flying to hawaii of course takes a lifetime and naturally i had to go to the bathroom. love the airplane bathroom...so small and freaky. hate the toilet...silver and waterless. and the flush sounds like its going to take one of your limbs with it. as i sat there doing my thing, the worst thing that could possibly happen became the inevitable. the bathroom door opened...not by my hand-which would be impossible since i was pretty much glued to the pot...but by the hand of a tall, dark figure with a shaved head and a silver chain on his jeans. my world went into slow motion as i looked up and made eye contact with "the" cute guy. my deer in the headlight look was probably not attractive at all matching the horrifying position i was in sitting on the toilet with my pants down to my ankles. all i managed to get out of my mouth was this monkey, low pitched, masculin, sound "whoaalgh!". the guy's face looked shocked and stunned as he roughly said "oh, im sorry" while slowly closing the door. i stared straight ahead, still in complete shock, as i tried to collect my thoughts. i burried my face in my hands "what just happened?" "i'm sitting on the toilet!" "why didn't i lock the door?" "it could have been anyone, why him?" "why did i pull my pants down all the way to my ankles?" "how does it smell in here?" "what do i do now?" "is he still waiting outside for me to finish?" "can i just sit here until the plane lands and empties till i come out and show my face?" "what was that sound that came out of my mouth?" i probably sat on that toilet for 15 minutes till i had the gumption to come out. if there was an option to be flushed into another world millions of miles away i would have totally taken it.

an entry worth mentioning...

so late one night i was buried in my old journals, laughing, cringing, gasping, and even sweating at times. i felt like i was reliving some of the experiences as i read them. i kept stuffing my face in my pillow because i was so embarrassed for myself. well i came along an entry that i just had to share. the year was 2000- i was in 8th grade and to say i was "in love" with this one particular guy would be an understatement. his name filled the pages of my journals with sob stories of how he will never love me like i love him (oh please). but get this...the end of my love affair with him ended with one simple bodily function. and i even wrote a poem about it to prove it.

i wish i could scan the exact entry but my handwriting, embarrassed to say resembles a 2nd grader (and still does i'm told) and it is pretty much illegible.

but here is what was said: (warning...if you get offended easily about potty humor, don't continue)

...so (blank) came over with everyone and we had a dance party. and when he wasn't looking at me and I was looking at him- HE TOTALLY FARTED. i am so turned off! and i wrote a poem about it.

fart
i don't know how my feelings started, but they ended when you farted
the feeling vanished in my gut when you opened up your butt
i wish my ears were on mute when you let out that large, enormous toot
it's amazing what a fart can do
now i have no interest in you

wow. i am so glad to see that i have matured since then.