Dieting

so i have probably done every diet in the book. seriously. my weight my entire life has been one big roller coaster. i remember, in highschool, a guy broke up with me and i was so heart broken that i decided i'd "show him" what he had just given up... so for an entire summer i ate a can of green beans and a piece of turkey each day. crazy? yes. but guess what? i lost sooo much weight and i looked fantastic! i bought a new outfit and went straight to my ex boyfriends house for a casual "oh hello, funny to see you here...oh yeah i've just worked out a little bit over the summer...no biggy...you think i look amazing? oh thanks, my new boyfriend thinks the exact same thing...yea too bad you broke up with me...you could have really enjoyed this. well, maybe i'll see you around SUCKER!!!!" well, that's what i had imagined in my head. it didn't go down exactly like that, but he totally noticed and did want me back (i know, prince charming right? if my daughters date anyone as shallow as he was, he will be receiving a nice karate chop to the throat) anyway,  he totally tried to kiss me multiple times that night and i gave him the shaft...not. i totally kissed him back. totally pathetic i know. i left his house that night feeling on top of the world and completly satisfied. so satisfied that i ate a snickers bar...and guess what. i blew back up again. oh well.
but, now that i am older and wiser (i think) i never ever want to hear that my daughters are trying to lose weight on some crash psycho diet for a stupid boy. i was thumbing through my journals and i found something i had written long ago that goes well with my point here.

crash
if i could give advise to all those this pertains to
i would scream it at the top of  my lungs because i know what i say is true
crash dieting does not work-it is all lies
don't think you are obese because you chose to eat fries
PLEASE listen to what i am saying
i promise you a little fat on your body is not worth complaining
for you can fix it if you do it right
so dry your eyes if your pants are too tight
put away the diet pills that tell you they work
because it's not true-who made them is a jerk!
for they don't understand what a diet can do
they just want your money, that don't care about you!
diets can hurt and leave you sadder
it can also switch around and make you even fatter
the media will tell you it's beautiful to be thin
but your body is screaming that it is a sin
of course you ignore it when your body tries to say,
"you're killing me diet, i have felt fatigued and nauseous all day'
but you hope that in the end you will lose what you've worked for
even then it's not enough and you decide to diet some more
there you go again, hurting your system, making it less tough
your killing yourself can't you tell? it's time to say enough!
look in the mirror and tell yourself you are wonderful and you don't need to diet
but you can exercise and watch your calories and your weight-you soon will fight it!
be strong and don't let diet books and fads tell you the ways
to make yourself skinnier and more beautiful in  just 3 days
just remember that it is possible to lose the weight you want
even if it is 10 pounds or 300, you can lose it, then you may flaunt
but please please do it right and don't fork out your cash
for stupid diets, they all lie and in the end you crash

a tad dramatic yes? i thought so too. but hey- so what. my point has been made.